Signs My Husband is Not Attracted to Me: What are They?

Signs My Husband is Not Attracted to Me: What are They?
Last Updated: 04 August 2021

In long term relationships, it’s not uncommon for couples to experience a decrease in passion. So, one must be careful before concluding: “there are certain signs my husband not attracted me”. A fast-paced life, financial problems, children – all this significantly impacts relationships. But keep in mind that sometimes a woman’s intuition is right. For example, in the movie Sex and Mrs. X, Johanna’s husband leaves her because they have no chemistry. When she goes to interview Madame Simone, the French beauty teaches her how to seduce men. So chin up Johanna, we will help you find out how to tell if your husband is attracted to you.

What is attraction and why is it important in relationships?

Attraction, or the psychological and physical allure of someone, is the cornerstone of any relationship. Based on gender, age, environment, people are attracted to different things. Men base it on appearance more whereas women typically go for personality and humor.

Reasons you might not feel attractive

To be attractive to others first, you must find yourself attractive. If you don’t feel attractive these insecurities might project on your husband.

Women might consider themselves undesirable for various reasons such as:

married couple fighting

Weight changes

It is perfectly fine to go through bodily changes. No one maintains the same weight their whole lives, especially when you have a child. But weight gain makes women feel self-conscious and unattractive. Society dictates the desirable weight, and any deviation from that is deemed ugly. Even we internalize these biases ourselves and look for external validation. So if you search for signs your husband doesn’t find you attractive because of your looks, please remember that he married you for personality, not just appearance.

Having Less Free Time

Your hectic lifestyle, especially if you have children leaves you feeling tense, overwrought, and tired. You simply don’t get time for self-care. Naturally, it can make you feel unattractive. The best way to tackle this issue is to have designated me-time. Relax, unwind, take a small vacation, go to a spa, or simply binge-watch your favorite show. You will feel much more attractive and confident. All the “signs my husband not attracted me” will disappear.

Common Signs your husband isn’t attracted to you

Nevertheless, sometimes the attraction between husband and wife does gradually disappear. In that case, it is important to ask yourself, “Am I overlooking signs that my husband isnt attracted to me?” Some well-known signs of waning attraction are:

Communication gap

A marriage is a partnership, and you can’t be good partners unless you’re good friends. That friendship is built on communication. You live together, so it’s almost impossible to run out of things to talk about. Communicate with each other – from mundane things like groceries to big decisions. Open communication is the healthiest way to nurture your emotional bond.

What to do?

There is no shortcut here. You have to initiate a conversation without fear so you can voice out your concerns about your marriage. It will only make your bond stronger in the long run.

Lack of physical intimacy

Every healthy marriage is built upon a healthy sex life. Do you have enough sex? According toHuffington Post article, a couple should have sex at least 10 times a year. Having less sex could be a sign husband not interested. Not just sex; simple touches, cuddling, hugs, and kisses are also important for a healthy relationship.

man tired of married life

What do I do?

Make sure he is in sound mental space. Don’t be afraid to try new stuff. Spend intimate time together, go on dates. Pamper each other and don’t let the spark die!

Interest in other women

Ladies, if your man is flirting with other women, that could be one of the signs your boyfriend not attracted you. Talking about the attractiveness of other women could be him hinting he wishes you would make an effort.

What to do?

Remember, you have remained just that person he fell in love with for the first time. If you feel exhausted and unappealing, take a break, get a makeover, and dress up in something he likes to blow his mind!

Frequent ugly fights

Fighting is a natural condition of cohabiting, but you should never hurt each other intentionally. If he’s unnecessarily hostile, maybe this marriage is not working.

What to do?

Nip petty arguments in the bud. Try to understand each other’s perspectives. Work with professional marriage counselors if need be.

Monotonous relationship

He could be getting tired of the monotony of the relationship. Lack of excitement in marriage can cause it to deteriorate. You could be growing tired of each other.

husband doesnt want sex

What to do?

Maybe you need a little one in your life to make your family more interesting and closer-knit. So, you could try to convince your husband to have a baby. But try to be patient and understanding and note that in some cases this step can further exacerbate the problem.


Your partner exhibiting multiple signs could be concerning, but a lack of attraction should not be your first conclusion. Talk to him first and find out if – maybe he’s struggling with something unrelated. The only way to find out if your husband still finds you attractive is to communicate with him.

We hope that this article was helpful to sort out any disagreements you have with your significant other. Do you relate to the signs my husband not attracted me? We would appreciate to hear them!

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